Chasing Paige (Falling for Words Book 1) Read online

  Like I knew she would be, Becca is speechless. Taking a step back she asks, “You’re, Paige?”

  “Becca,” I say in a warning tone.

  “Did James tell you I’m his fiancée?”

  I should be grateful she changed the subject, except she decides to throw me in for another loop. Things couldn’t be more screwed up. I’m falling flat on my face, and in due time I’ll be rotting in my own shit.

  “Ex-fiancée. Don’t say things like that.” I abruptly take Paige by the hand and guide her a few feet away, out of earshot from Becca. Cupping her face, I make sure she looks into my eyes. “You’ve got to understand, we’ve been over for a long time. She’s means nothing to me, and as you can see, she’s trying to stir up unwanted trouble.”

  “You never told me you were engaged.”

  “I know and I’m sorry. I never thought it was important.”

  “You thought wrong, James. That’s a huge piece of information you kept from me.”

  She’s right. I should have told her about Becca. I should have told her a lot of things by now. “Listen. Please go back to the cabana. As soon as I get rid of her, we’ll talk.” She seems hesitant to leave. “As much as I love your stubbornness, I need you to listen to me. Please.”

  “I’m done with the cabana,” she says to me with a clip of annoyance in her voice. “I think I’ll go upstairs instead, and go to bed.”

  I know she’s upset and doubting my trust again, and I don’t blame her. Ever since I walked inside her bookstore, I’ve been lying to her. It makes me no better than Becca or my brother. “Of course.” I kiss her on the forehead and watch her climb the stairs until she’s gone from my sight.

  “That was so sweet.”

  “Enough,” snapping at Becca, I need to get her out of here. So I grab her luggage, and head straight for the foyer. Reaching for the handle, I open one of the double doors and tell her, “Don’t you ever compromise my relationship again, do you hear me?”

  Getting up in my face, she chuckles, “I think you’re doing a pretty good job of that yourself, James. You know, you are so full of crap. Paige of all people.” She scoffs. “Glen would be beside himself.”

  “Glen’s dead.”

  “And you think that makes it okay to go after his wife?” She leans further into me and ends with, “My brother’s wife.”

  “Goodbye Becca.” Not glancing back to see if she had left, I shut the door behind me and sink to the ground. This is exactly where my body should be…in the ground. Because, after I tell Paige the truth, she’ll want to bury me…alongside her dead husband. My best friend who I used to call Lenny.

  J.D. Parker - Minus

  Down the hall, I can still hear the screams from that girl. It’s blood curdling, terrifying. Whimpering, I lie here in the corner of my cot and cover my ears from the sounds. I need to vomit. The bile taste of the emptiness from my stomach, sticks in the back of my throat like glue. It only makes the need to vomit that much more.

  I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.

  What was I thinking leaving my house in the middle of the night? If only I had listened to my parents, I wouldn’t be in this hell hole. They must be so worried about me. I wonder if they have already called the police. Are they searching for me? Do they even care that I’m missing?

  I can’t recall how many hours or days I’ve been held captive in this cave. I can’t think straight anymore, my mind is going crazy.

  The screaming has stopped. The girl must be dead. My turn will be next.

  I’m going to die.

  I waited up for James until I could no longer keep my eyes open. I searched the pool grounds and around the house to see where he could be, but he was nowhere in sight. Even texting him was a fail. I was worried for him. Last night was certainly not a Kodak moment, and I understood why James was so upset. I was upset. He never told me he was engaged to that woman, Becca. To say I was surprised was an understatement. I wanted to be mad at him, ignore anything he had to tell me, and be a big pain in his booty, but being that childish would’ve been…well…childish. I had to put on my big girl panties and act like an adult. It’s not like James lied to me about Becca, he simply didn’t mention her. We were still getting to know one another, so I couldn’t be a bitch just because I didn’t know all his past relationships. There would be plenty of time to play catch up. We had years, I hope, to discover things about one another. James deserved my patience just as much as he was with me. Even our little argument about Glen, I had to let it all go. Now I had that damn Frozen song in my head. Thanks a lot Lynn. Her and her ridiculous Disney movie obsession.

  Tossing and turning last night made for an early rise. James still wasn’t by my side, and I was expected to leave for home today. Where was he? I couldn’t stay in bed any longer. I needed to find him.

  Making my way down the stairs, the sun is peeking its rays above the horizon. It’s a beautiful site to witness. The breeze is cool on my skin while I walk outside near the pool. Looking around the area, I finally spot James in the cabana, sleeping. Still in that white robe from last night, he’s on his stomach, arms out and snoring like a cow. There is only one explanation for that God awful snoring…booze. Yep, I was right. Next to an empty glass, there is an almost empty bottle of vodka, and a container of cranberry juice thrown on the floor beside him. What on earth was he thinking? Why didn’t he talk with me instead? Is this what I’m in for if we continue being a couple? Is he an alcoholic like his brother? He mentioned Dominic has had a problem with drinking for quite a while now, yet won’t do anything about it. It’s so sad. I’ll never understand how James can keep him on as his agent if he has this problem. I just pray he doesn’t drink and drive. I was told that’s how Glen ended up being killed.

  Before I wake him, I need to find him some headache medicine. He’s going to need it. So I search in his bathroom cabinets and find a bottle of Ibuprofen, then head back downstairs to grab a bottle of water for him.

  Leaning over, I shake James’ shoulder. “James…wake up,” I tell him.

  I shove him a couple more times until he groans out, “Mmm.”

  “Come on now, wake up.” Still shaking him. After several minutes, he finally realizes where he’s at and sits up against the pillows. When he opens his eyes, they’re bloodshot. My male beauty is a total mess, and sadly, looks like crap. “You’ve been drinking. What happened?” He doesn’t respond right away, so I continue, “I went looking for you last night and got worried,” shoving the pills and water at him. “Here, take these, you’re going to need it.”

  Clearing his throat, and combing the hair away from his eyes, he takes the water and meds. “Thanks,” his voice croaks.

  “You’re welcome.” I look out into the water for a couple minutes before I decide to bring up the elephant in the room. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

  “You know what happened. Becca happened,” he replies irritant.

  “I think it’s a lot more than that.”

  “I needed a breather and went for a long walk on the beach.”

  “Okay, yeah, well…then you came back and decided to get drunk instead of talking to me.” He winces and begins rubbing his forehead, like he’s trying to forget about last night. This is all so out of character for him, I just wish he would talk to me. Placing my hand on his leg, I plead with him, “Oh James…please talk to me.” More than anything I want to climb on his lap and take away all the pain he’s feeling, because it’s obvious he’s in some kind of pain. He’s being distant and quiet. I don’t know how to help.

  Looking down at the water bottle, he says, “I’ve lied to you more than once. I feel sick about it. My name for one, then Becca…”

  He pauses, so I step in. “I’ll be honest. Finding out that you were once engaged definitely wasn’t the highlight of my night, that and Becca crashing our evening, but she didn’t ruin my weekend with you. And I wouldn’t say you lied to me about her. I understand why you never
brought her up. She seems horrible.”

  “Either way, I should have told you. But it’s not just about Becca, it’s also about Glen. I need to– ”

  Not wanting him to feel guilty about Glen, I stop him. “Look…I have to admit, Glen will always be a sensitive subject for me. It’s hard for me to talk about him without thinking about his spontaneous nature. But he wasn’t a bad person. He treated me very well, and loved me. He just loved his work a lot more. I couldn’t compete with it, no matter what I said or did. Though we had our numerous fights and challenges, I never gave up. I was his wife and that meant I needed to stand by him. So you saying you knew him…that’s just not true. You didn’t know him.” Grabbing onto his hand, I plead with him once again. “So please, let him rest in peace. Will you do that for me? Because more than anything, I would really like to focus on the future…with you. The past just needs to remain in the past.”

  He finally sets his eyes on mine, but they’re still troubled. “You’re an incredible woman, Paige. You’re forgiving, loyal and honest, which I most definitely am not. I don’t deserve you.”

  “Stop it. I think you’re being way too hard on yourself.”

  “If only you knew,” he mumbles shaking his head, yet doesn’t continue to explain.

  “If only I knew what?” It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall, he’s frustrating me. “James, please, talk to me,” I plead, yet again! What is he holding back that he can’t tell me? Some long lost love affair. I mean what is it? Goodness, I hope it’s not another love affair, we’d be so done.

  “Please, come here,” he softly says. Quickly complying, I make my way onto the bed and sit as close as I can, beside him. Taking my hand, he begins rubbing the tips of my knuckles while he gazes into my eyes. “You say you want the past to stay in the past. I can respect that. So I swear to you…the past will certainly remain where it belongs. But as for the future…I….” He stumbles upon his words. Where he is taking this conversation? Does he no longer want a future with me? Is he going to break my heart right now? His eyes are glazed over, red, yet they appear horrifyingly sad. My heart begins to beat a bit over the limit of being calm. If he’s going to break up with me, hurry up and do so! I can’t take this torture! As if he knew I was on the brink of crying, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. “God, I can’t do it. I just can’t,” his voice stresses.

  “What are you talking about? What can’t you do? You’re not making any sense.”

  Cupping my face in his hands, he softly kisses me on the lips. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he whispers. “I just need you. Now.” And in that moment, his domineering side immediately rejuvenates, sending my body into a whirlwind of ecstasy. Whatever he was thinking of doing or not doing has completely vanished, and instead he makes passionate love to me until we are over the top, spent. Good God, my Male Beauty is back.

  We’re sprawled out on the cabana bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, taking in the last couple hours of being together. It’s hard to imagine that I won’t be with him tonight. I’m going to miss him so much.

  Softly, slowly rubbing my arm up and down, James kisses the top of my head and murmurs, “I am a selfish maniac, who’s fallen in love with the most perfect victim.” My body becomes still. The last thing I expected him to tell me was that he has fallen in love with me. And not just any typical: “I love you.” This was the J.D. Parker way, my male beauty, madman way. What do I say? Do I say it back? I mean, my goodness, I want to say it back, but it terrifies me to do so, because falling in love with him is too easy. When I don’t answer back right away he says, “You don’t have to say it back. I know it’s still early on in our relationship, so I don’t expect you to. But I needed to tell you, because…” He turns our bodies, so we are now chest to chest. Caressing my hair, he continues with such depth and love in his voice. I want to burst into joyful tears. “I have never, ever been surer about anyone in my entire life. You’re the first woman who’s taken my heart, and the last and only woman who will keep it locked away. This is how strongly I feel for you.” If I just didn’t melt into a puddle of mush. I have no words right now. Still caressing my hair and now my cheekbone, he says, “Tell me what you’re feeling, baby.” His brows are furrowed, obviously worried about me.

  “Scared,” I whisper. “…overwhelmed…but most of all, happy.” My hand glides along his muscular back, he feels so amazing. “It’s been so long since anyone has made me this happy. I just need time to let your feelings, and my feelings sink in before I take that next step.”

  “I understand,” he said, kissing my temple.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Are you serious? You….” He kisses my lips, “…baby, could never hurt me. It’s impossible.”

  Holding him tightly against my beating heart, I kiss the hell out of him. What he does to me is out of this world. Once we end our marathon of kissing, I ask, “Okay…so…how are we going to do this? You and me? How are we supposed to be together when we don’t even live in the same state?”

  “I’ll move heaven and earth to be with you. Don’t worry.” He smiles.

  “James–”

  Placing a finger on my lips, he repeats, “I said, don’t worry.”

  I nod my head and return a smile, but then realize our time is almost up. In just four short hours, I’ll be on a plane back to San Diego. “I’m going to miss you so much. This weekend has been a dream, thanks to you.”

  “And a couple minor hiccups in between.”

  “Already forgotten.”

  “That’s my girl.” He smiles a big and wide dreamy, male beauty smile.

  My big girl panties have completely melted.

  Leaving James and Maui was no easy peasy thing to do. I tried so hard to keep my tears locked up in my tear ducts, but a couple of them slipped right on out right before I left James’ arms. I did the best I could, sucking up my girly sadness and walked away from the man I was falling in love with. Those blue eyes of his were the last thing I had seen when I turned around to wave one last time before I went through security. I prayed and hoped we would see one another soon, like he had promised me. I’ll move heaven and earth to be with you. His words touched my soul.

  I felt like a completely different woman the moment my feet touched California’s soil. The thought of not being in James’ bed and arms were starting to weigh on me. How would I begin my week if all I could do was think and dream about the next time I would see him? He’s changed my life. For two years, I hadn’t wanted anyone to touch my heart, but the second James landed in front of me, I couldn’t imagine not having him a part of my everyday life. Okay, enough. I needed to pull up those big girl panties, once again, and suck it up. My life didn’t revolve around James. I had a life to lead and a bookstore to go back to. But man, I so missed him already.

  The second I enter our house, Lynn squeals, “Oh my God, you look amazing! Your tan, wow! You’re absolutely glowing.” and hugs the heck out of me.

  James had a driver waiting for me once my plane had landed, so that way, Lynn didn’t have to pick me up. He’s always thinking ahead.

  Miss him already.

  “Yeah?” My tan actually does kind of rock. Even though I got burnt in some spots, my skin is golden brown and makes me look, and feel alive.

  “Hell yes, sister!” Lynn is overly excited for me, she makes me laugh.

  We both head to my bedroom. Setting my luggage in the corner, I decide I’ll just deal with the mess of unpacking later. I’m wiped out. I could totally fall asleep right now, but I know Lynn, she wants to get the goods on my weekend. So we both lie on my bed, facing each other and talk.

  “Maui was good to you.” Lynn smiles.

  “No…James was good to me.”

  “Oh honey, do tell. And do not hold anything back.” She shoves my shoulder.

  I laugh in response, and then bite my bottom lip. “We did the deed.”

  “Get out!” Lynn shoots up from lying down. “
How was he?”

  “A-M-A-Z-I-N-G,” I answer enunciating the word. “I have no other words, except, he made me forget my own name.”

  Lynn sighs and lies back down. “You are on cloud nine, aren’t you?”

  “I’m falling in love with him, Lynn, and it scares me to death.”

  “Why? This is a good thing.”

  “I know, I know…it’s just scary. I can’t explain it. When you fall in love again, you’ll understand.”

  “Ha!” She laughs. “No way will I go down that road again. Nope. All men are scum…well except James.”

  “He’s pretty incredible, that’s for sure.” I sigh. “He told me he’s fallen in love with me.”

  “No surprise there, sweetheart. It’s been written on his forehead since the day you met him.”

  I can’t help from smiling. Male Beauty is in love with little ole me. How is that even possible? I think I might be blushing, and it’s totally out of this world, awesome.

  Soon after all the ogling about James and me, I fill Lynn in about our unwanted guest, Becca.

  “Holy moly, that’s just crazy!” Lynn shouts…a little too loudly.

  “Tell me about it. I wanted to scratch her eyes out, but I let James handle her. But get this…he was engaged to her.”

  “Seriously?” She gasps.

  “Very.”

  “Are you okay with that? Is she someone we have to keep a close eye on, because if she tries to sabotage your relationship, scratching her eyes out wouldn’t be the worst thing to do to her.”

  I let out a small laugh, then say, “Honestly, it’s not her I’m worried about. It’s James’ brother.”

  “Jerk-face Parker? The one with the stick up his butt?”

  “Yup. He’s the one who sent her to Maui. He told her that James wanted to work things out. And apparently they’ve slept together. It’s a mess, Lynn. A total mess.”