Chasing Paige (Falling for Words Book 1) Page 5

  My bedroom is my sanctuary. I thought moving away from mine and Glen’s condo would be difficult, yet in fact it was exactly what I needed. Being in a bedroom without any memories of our marriage allows me to breathe again. It brings me peace. Although my space holds no special memories of Glen, I have a few pictures of us on my nightstand next to my bed and our wedding photo on my dresser. I couldn’t get rid of the life we had together, completely. He’s still in my heart, and will always be the first man I fell in love with.

  The moment Lynn walks through the front door I take her over to the couch in our living room, and then explain to her what happened this morning.

  “No, friggin’ way!”

  I nod. “Yes way.”

  “What on earth - I told him to stay away from you, not chase after you and…suck face.” I’m sure she can sense my hesitancy when I don’t respond right away. “Unless you liked it.” She guesses. Biting my bottom lip, Lynn clues in. “Wow, you so liked it! Paige, what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “I mean, I can’t deny what I felt when he kissed me…there was a connection I haven’t ever felt before, not even with Glen. I can’t explain it.”

  “Wow.”

  I’m just as stunned as she is. Glen, being the first man I loved, I thought he was the only one who would ever light my fire, that no one could exceed those feelings. But I was wrong. James not only lit my fire, he sent me to the moon and back. The fire is still blazing, and I don’t quite understand why. It’s seems insane to me.

  “Seriously, Lynn, three days isn’t long enough to get to know someone, much less feel this strongly for them.” I didn’t fall madly in love with Glen until after a few months of knowing him. With James, though…it’s so different.

  “Not necessarily. Stranger things have happened. People fall in love at first sight.”

  “I am not in love with him.” I think I’m not in love with him, it’s too soon. Oh please, let me not be in love with him. “I’m just mad, and can’t trust him.” I lean my back against the cushion, crossing my arms.

  “Hey, you have every right to be mad. He wasn’t upfront with you.”

  “Yes, but if it hadn’t been for his agent calling, I think he was going to tell me who he was.”

  “He still had all day after coffee to reveal himself, though.” She points out.

  “God,” I groan out. “I don’t want to go through this again. I’m not ready for anything, I’m just not. It’s…it’s…it’s too soon to be dealing with men again. They’re all creeps and jerks and liars. I just want to go back to not feeling anything. I was fine up until James jumped into my life.” I close my eyes, wishing this whole thing would just go away.

  “Were you? Were you really okay?”

  I peek open my right eye. “What are you talking about?”

  “Listen, hon. I’m not defending James, however…I haven’t seen you light up like a Christmas tree since Glen.”

  “What?” I scoff. “I lit up when we opened our store. You know how much the store brought joy back into my life.”

  “Yes, of course it did, but you don’t understand what I’m trying to tell you. James brought a spark back into your eyes. A spark neither the store nor myself could ever possibly do for you. That spark is deep within your soul, Paige, and James somehow brought it back to life. He brought you back to life, no matter how short of a time you spent with him. And yes, I know it’s unexplainable, unimaginable, and even too crazy to comprehend, and I can’t even believe it myself, because I thought you were one hundred percent back, too…until James. Ugh, that just brought a bad taste to my mouth.” She ends, smacking her lips in distaste.

  What Lynn explained makes absolute sense, and I hadn’t realized it until now. “You’re so right. I’ve been dead inside. I mean, I’ve been happy, and living life as best as I know how, but…”

  Taking hold of my hand, she finishes my thoughts. “You haven’t been alive. I get it.”

  “What am I going to do?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t call the shots on your heart, sweetie. If it were me, I’d kick him to the curb. I mean, no way, no how will I get involved with a liar again, they can all go straight to hell.”

  Somewhere deep in my gut, I know James isn’t like most men. He seems genuine and humble. “He’s not a bad guy, Lynn. I could see loyalty and truth in his eyes.”

  “Then there’s your answer.”

  “What is?”

  “Talk to him. Listen to him, I guess, I don’t know.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yes, I do.” She sighs.

  Still holding onto each other’s hands, I give hers a squeeze. “What would I ever do without you? You’re the best.”

  “I know I am, so don’t piss me off, got it?”

  “Got it.” I agree laughing. “I’m still mad at him, though.”

  “I am too.” We sit in comfortable silence for a couple minutes, until there’s a knock at the front door. “I’ll answer that,” Lynn offers.

  Resting my head against the sofa cushion, I try to process everything that has happened. What I really want right now is a glass of wine. I’ll need it before I have the courage to call James.

  Suddenly, I hear Lynn yell, “What the? How did you find out where we lived? I thought I told you to stay away.”

  Uh oh, looks like I won’t need to call James after all. He’s here!

  Not wanting Lynn to claw him to death, like a bear in heat, I race myself over to the threshold. In an instant, my eyes reunite with the most beautiful man on the planet. My breath has been sucked out of me, once again. But before I can say anything to him, I need to take care of Lynn, first.

  “Lynn.”

  “Can you believe this guy?” She flicks her thumb at him. “He lies to you, and then he stalks you.”

  I guide her away by snaking an arm around her waist, and lead her into the kitchen. “Lynn, you wanted me to talk to him, remember?”

  “Yes, yes, I did, but this is beyond obsessed don’t you think?”

  “Maybe but…I want that spark back, Lynn. I want it back,” I whisper.

  She flattens her lips, contemplating everything we discussed. On a deep exhale, she says, “Go. I’ll be here if you need me.” Having her support means everything to me.

  I quickly get rid of my smile, because I don’t want James to think I’m over being mad at him… not by a long shot.

  And once again, I’m blown away with his male beauty, and I suddenly think back to our kiss. I shake the thought from my head, cross my arms and scowl.

  Still standing in the doorway, with his hands in his sleek, black pant pockets, he starts to say, “I know it looks as if I’m stalking you––”

  “It does, but I won’t ask how you found my place, because you can find anyone, anywhere these days, so we’ll leave it at that. So, what are you doing here?”

  “Dinner, like I had promised.” He shrugs.

  Dinner? I had totally forgotten about dinner. That kiss blew dinner right out of the park. “You can’t be serious?”

  “Very,” he says in an overtone, causing my knees to quiver. He takes a step inside the doorway, inching his way toward me, but keeping his hands inside his pockets. Smart. “Did you not get me, when I kissed you, how serious I was?”

  I gulp from his tone and dead-on seriousness from his eyes. Hands in pockets or not, I’m still affected by him. He is sexy as all hell. But why is he so determined to be with me? I’m sure there are loads of women who’d jump at the chance to have dinner with this man or better yet, be kissed by him.

  “What is it about me? I’m nobody special.”

  He takes another step forward, forcing me to look up into those crystal blue eyes of his. “You’re so wrong about that.” Taking a hand out of his pocket, he glides a thumb across my cheek, sending immediate tingles throughout my entire body. “You’re very special,” he murmurs. I want to fall to the ground. He’s too good to be true. He takes his hand aw
ay, stuffing it back inside his pocket. “Please have dinner with me. I’m leaving for New York in the morning, and I want to spend my last night with you.”

  He probably knows he’s getting to me, and can’t back down. He’s getting underneath my skin, erasing my anger, but it doesn’t mean I’m no longer mad. I’m still upset with him and I can’t dismiss it. “Let me freshen up real quick.” I head into my bedroom and look at myself through my dresser mirror, praying I can get through this dinner without drooling all over myself. James’ charm and good looks are not making this easy on me. I need to stay focused on the number one issue - Truth. Without honesty, there’s no hope for a relationship. Besides, James is leaving tomorrow. I’ve been through this type of thing before with Glen. He was always on the go, always going away for his next big story. I can’t put myself in that position again. It wouldn’t work.

  Once I re-apply some makeup, lipstick and a spritz of perfume, I go in our reading/writing room to tell Lynn I’m heading out for dinner. She’s sitting in one of the big oversized cushioned chairs, looking at her laptop. Putting it aside, she stands up to give me a hug. “Please be careful. I know I may sound nuts one minute telling you to stay away from him, and the next telling you to go for it, but I still want you to be careful.”

  I totally hear her, and would have said the same thing, if the shoe were on the other foot. “I know, and I will.”

  Walking outside to his black Camaro, James places his hand on the lower part of my back. Just from that slight, simple touch, I get the goosies. I hate how he affects me. When he opens the passenger side, I hesitate. I need to play hard to get. All because he’s drop dead gorgeous, and the most unbelievable kisser ever, does he really think I’m going to do what he says at any given time? Well…I should say not.

  “I think maybe we should take separate cars.”

  “Paige, I’m not letting you drive yourself when I offered to take you out.”

  Without thinking, I blurt out, “You didn’t offer, you baited me with your hot kiss - oh, crap.” I wince. That’s not exactly what I wanted him to hear. Like he really needed an ego boost.

  He lifts my chin up with his thumb and forefinger - again, forcing me to get blinded by those baby blues. “Get in before I land another one on you. Unless, of course you want me to?” He smirks, raising an eyebrow.

  “Don’t lay a lip on me. I’ll get in.”

  “Wise choice.” He laughs in his deep throaty, ever so sexy laugh.

  Goodness gracious, I’m in serious trouble here.

  Once buckled in, James starts the car up, and then lets it idle before we leave. “What kind of food do you like? I found a couple places we could go to, but I wanted to know your preference first.”

  “I like most of everything, except sushi.” I shrug.

  “Good, because I’m not a fan of it myself.”

  “Well that’s a first. Everyone I know loves sushi.”

  “Well, not this guy.” He laughs. “How about Italian?”

  “Sure, sounds good.” Maybe a glass a wine to go with it, because I sure as heck need to relax. During the car ride to wherever we are going, James turns on Sirius radio. Looks as if food isn’t the only thing we have in common. Music is another one. He lands it on a station which happens to be playing one of my favorite songs, Shattered by JINKS. He then mentions to me he’s taking me to a place in Little Italy, which has one of the best fine dining Italian restaurants around - according to Yelp that is. We don’t talk the rest of the way there. Instead we listen to the music and keep to ourselves. It’s a comfortable silence, much like how it is with Lynn. There’s no reason to talk, but to sit and enjoy each other’s company. Am I enjoying his company? It’s like I’ve known James my entire life, there’s no rhyme or reason for it. It’s eerie, yet at the same time serene. I’m relieved.

  Once we arrive in Little Italy, we find a parking spot a few stores down from the restaurant. It’s a chilly evening, so I’m glad I brought along my light black sweater. Thank goodness I didn’t change out of my hip outfit of knee high black skirt, blue blouse and black boots from earlier, because the restaurants down here are exquisite. It’s a beautiful area. I’m surprised I’ve never strolled along the street before. James comes around to my side of the car, and helps me out by taking my hand. He never lets it go as we walk silently to the restaurant. I should be pulling it away, but I actually like the feel of his big, warm hand clutching mine.

  Just like the gentleman he is, James opens the restaurant door for me, placing his hand on my lower back. God, why does he have to be so damn polite! I want to stay mad at him so badly, but every second that goes by the grudge slowly slips away. The hostess leads us to a small, cozy high back booth, which gives us plenty of privacy. I scoot into the booth first, and then James scoots along with me, and never leaves my side. Even though there is plenty of room in the booth, James makes sure we stay smooshed together - thighs touching thighs, and an arm snaked around my waist. He’s making this, being mad at him thing, very difficult for me. With the low lighting and candlelit tables, the romance is bursting at the seams.

  We’re handed a couple of menus, then James orders us two glasses of red wine. He can so read my mind. Red wine sounds perfect. It doesn’t matter what type of red it is, I love it. As we look over our menu, our wine is served. It tastes divine on my tongue and is exactly what I needed. Once decided, we both ordered the lasagna from the waitress. Then sat in silence again, with our bodies connected, radiating off some serious heat, while the strong, amazing, masculine scent coming off James is intoxicating. Looking down, the wine has my complete undivided attention.

  “Paige…” he begins.

  I knew the silence couldn’t last forever. “Look, I know you want to explain your reasons again for not telling me who you are––”

  “Look at me.” He gently turns my face with his forefinger, forcing me to follow his lead. His eyes penetrate my own. There is no denying my attraction, and for the life of me, I cannot look away. “Listen to me. Please…I am so sorry for not being upfront. It was wrong, and I can’t tell you how guilty I feel about the whole thing. It wasn’t a game to make you feel like a fool, and I’m deeply sorry. I was being truly honest with you about my feelings toward you. You’re special, Paige. We have a connection that I can’t ignore, please believe me.”

  A connection he can’t ignore. A connection. The same word I described to Lynn. His words ring truth to my ears, and suddenly, like a tidal wave washing away all my anger I say, “I believe you.”

  “You do?” He seems surprised.

  Allowing myself to give James a second chance, I smile and reply, “Yes. You may have done a stupid thing, but I know you’re not a mean person. People make mistakes, so…”

  “You’ll accept my apology?”

  I close my eyes for half a second before I tell him, “Well, even though it was wrong, I understand why you did it. So yes, I accept your apology.”

  And before I know it, he weaves his fingers under my hair, to the back of my head, and brings our lips together for a long blissful kiss. “Thank you,” he whispers, against my lips.

  I’m a goner.

  I feel beyond relieved Paige forgave me. It was a long ass day waiting to see her tonight, I couldn’t stand it. I know I was told to stay away from her, but the second she appeared in her front entryway, I knew without a doubt, she wanted to see me again too. Unfortunately, the only thing standing in my way was her grudge. I took the chance on her forgiving me, and the fact that I needed to spend my last few hours in San Diego with her. Leaving tomorrow will kill me for sure, so this dinner means everything to me.

  We’ve had a really great meal together. Keeping our bodies close throughout dinner, and making sure she doesn’t run off, makes me feel like an obsessed son of a bitch. The fact that I can’t stop touching her, or looking into her beautiful brown eyes, clearly shows me how deep in I am and at such a fast pace. I’m digging a massive grave for myself. I might as well make arr
angements for my funeral. How to slow things down…I haven’t got a clue.

  My arm is wrapped around her waist as we sit and talk while drinking our second glass of wine. “So did you burn my books?”

  “What? No,” she says, surprised. “Okay,” she admits with a smile. “…maybe I thought about it once or twice, but no, I could never burn your books, or any book for that matter.”

  “Okay good, because Minus is my best novel yet. I’d hate for you to miss out on all the torture and blood.” I wink.

  “Oh wow, yes…so far the serial madman is ready to take on his next victim. So disgusting how he loves to feel the fear from these women, how he gets a high from it.”

  “But it’s disgustingly good, though, right?”

  “Absolutely.” She laughs. She’s has a great laugh. If I could, I’d want to make her laugh and smile for the rest of her life. “What made you want to become a writer?”

  Before replying, I take a sip of my wine. “Both of my parents are English Professors, so naturally they taught me, my brother and my sister to read and write at a young age. It was imbedded in my brain to love reading, to put my crazy thoughts down on paper. Writing brings me peace.”

  “I love that.”

  “What about you? Do you write?”

  “Once in awhile, I do.” She shrugs. “I’m an editor, so there’s some writing ability inside me somewhere. I used to write short stories, but they never turned into novels.”

  “Have you thought about, maybe, getting back into it?”

  “It’s always in the back of mind, so…maybe.” The more she tells me about herself, the more I’m fascinated. I’m savoring this time with her, I’d hate for the evening to end. Aside from enjoying her company, I’m drawn into watching her drink her wine. I love it. After each sip she takes she licks her bottom lip, it’s driving me out of my mind. I desperately want to suck the wine off those luscious lips for her, and devour every inch. “Why horror stories?”